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...cuz yu love me...

...from da moment yu met me...
in a moment of confusion...
when i thought i needed no one...
when i was somewhat mean,
angry, impolite, insulting...
yu tried sooo hard to win my heart...
yu brought some sparkle
back to my werld...
yu brought out every emotion in me...
yu made me laugh...
yu made me furious and downright mad...
yu made me sad...
yu made me cry...
yu made me scream...
yu made me lose control...
yu made me happy...
yu made me love yu james...
and without a doubt,
i love yu with all my heart...

...yu wonder why im often so sad...
believe me when i say it's not yu...
it's nuttin yu said or did...
yu gave yur love so freely to me
and yu never once
asked for much in return...
except that we be together forever...
but that which brought me to yu
in da first place, consumes me...
memories not quite forgotten...
a past that torments me
and continues to rule my life...
regrets that i can do nuttin about...
wishing i cud turn back time,
and do it all differently...
for so long i've been
afraid to love too much...
all i ever do is run from it...
dat need to stay in control...
leave before im left...
da ones who are suppose
to love me da most,
hurt me da most...
fear of rejection,
i walked away from a life
that cud have made me happy...
i've walked away from those i love...
i've lost my heart
somewhere along da way
and da best part off me...
my soul, my heart,
my spirit was just so broken...
someday, ill be happy again...
i know only time and lots of
uncondtional love
cud get me to dat point once again...

...i long for those innocent,
magical, carefree childhood days
when everything was so perfect...
surrounded by beautiful flowers and trees...
dat wonderful smell of all those
sweet tropical fruits in da air...
watching all my dogs going off
on their adventures and alwayz
finding their way home...
my mischeivous kitty
curled up on da sofa...
me climbing trees
as if one of da boys...
throwing stones at those
snarling ferocious gators
alwayz getting ready to run
in case they made their way
to my side of da river bank...
bawling my head off
at da sight of every snake...
going to da amusement parks
and beaches every weekend...
getting into trouble with my brothers...
and laughing so hard that i wud cry...
through the eyes of a child,
it was all so enchanting to me...
how was i to know then
that nuttin was as it seemed...

...i just wanna feel like that again...
utmost happiness,
without a care in da werld...
it's what i want...
to know i cud trust without a doubt...
to love freely...
to laugh outrageously...
to be wikked and ruthless...
to feel alive...

...james, yu've given me
months of happiness...
yu've loved me...
yu've tolerated my nonsense,
madness and jealous rages
when no one cud...
yu've accepted my insecurities...
yu've forgiven my constant cruelty...
yu've touched my heart so deeply...
we are so close and connected...
we are each others best friend...
there's no other like yu...
with yu, there's never a dull moment...
we've shared some tender moments
that i'll cherish forever...
memories of yu will
always make me smile...
and no matter where yu are,
or "who" yu're with...
i'll always have good thoughts of yu...
cuz best friends is not
the joining of two hands,
but two hearts...

your love has given me hope
that things can get betta...
knowing yu has made me stronger
and more confident...
but before i can make
someone else happy,
i need to be happy about me...
i need to find dat peace of mind
before i can move on...
i need to stop being so angry...



...i shall never forget yu james...
always in my heart...
forever i shall love yu...
and even long after forever,
i will always be with yu...
cuz in so many ways,
yu show me yu care
and that yu luv me...
yu is da best!

Dedicated to:
a special friend

Vee. K.


mail to:

SweetEvil@webtv.net


!!~~uh oh~~!!